The Blessed Curse of a Passion Project
I was simply BORED when I started this website. Quarantine had just barely gone into action, and I just really needed something to occupy my time.
When I have the energy, I absolutely adore being in the kitchen. It’s something that gives me a whole awful lot of joy compared to the fucked up world we live in. I am at my happiest when cooking for others.
I once learned how to make a charcuterie spread in like three hours to prepare for an impromptu D&D session.
I remember the first time I spent 6 hours in the kitchen making baked ziti.
I know that every cake I’ve made for my best friend’s birthday has failed in some way, but I keep doing it anyway.
This past Thanksgiving was my first time ever cooking anything for a Thanksgiving dinner, and I took the opportunity to cook EVERYTHING. My mother handled making the best stuffing of all time (which I will eventually try to post here with permission because it’s a family recipe), and my brother and his wife brought a delicious carrot cake, but I made EVERYTHING ELSE.
I made a delicious cranberry sauce from Bon Appetit as well as some tear and share rolls from the Firefly cookbook, but the pièce de résistance was a whole ass roasted DUCK. Like, my dad thought I was kidding when I sent in our family group chat that I was going to make duck, and then I actually brought a whole ass duck to the table.
I made some mistakes with the duck (like not leaving it out to get to room temperature for long enough, resulting in over cooked dark meat), but holy shit it was LIBERATING to put such an outlandish meal on the table.
I really, really miss cooking for people. My dream is that when quarantine is over and it’s safe to gather, I’m gonna start throwing some killer dinner parties because I just wanna feed people good food. Sure, I’m an amateur and I make mistakes all the time, but when a meal is good it’s fuckin GOOD and I want to share that.
But it still takes a lot of energy out of me. So that is, in part, why I made this website.
Until it is safe to gather around a table with my friends again, the least I can do is pull together some of my favorite recipes and share them from the safety of the internet.
Social energy is something that is hard to come by for me, but sitting down at my computer and typing for a couple of hours and indulging in my colloquial writing style is fun. It’s enjoyable. It lets me express myself in so many creative outlets and it just feels GOOD.
And that’s the thing about a passion project. It just makes you feel good. It makes you happy. It doesn’t drain you of your life force like a job can. It’s in the very name of the thing. A passion project is a project that you do because you’re passionate about it. Duh. You don’t do it for money or for personal gain or for fame, you do it just because you like it.
And that’s exactly why I am not monetizing this blog. Not only do I never feel like I will reach the point where I COULD make money from it, but I don’t even want to. When you start making money from something you do on a regular basis, it becomes a job, not a hobby. Monetization can turn a passion project into something soul sucking and energy draining and can put so much weight on your shoulders that it kills all joy you get from it. When I made Affiliate on Twitch, I burned out so hard and so fast that I didn’t play video games for almost a year after I stopped streaming.
I love cooking and baking and being in the kitchen too much to subject myself to misery just to make a few bucks. It still takes my energy, but I’m fine with that because at least it’s not taking my soul.
Fuck that.
Caroline <3